is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
