I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
