turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
