Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Holy shit dude........stairs
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
