TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
