p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
