It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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