guys are only as good as the porn they watch
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
