The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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