READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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