well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
