But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
