I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
