we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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