I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
We have so much sex to catch up on
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
