Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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