When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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