My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
