Cold hands, warm shart.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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