There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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