please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
