She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
