just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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