Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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