where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
