Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
