She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
