i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
