Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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