We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Randomize
