Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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