WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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