She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
