One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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