why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
