Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
