I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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