Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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