If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
