i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
