Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
