I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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