so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
