Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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