I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I have post one night stand depression
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
