Porn is love you can see.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
