I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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