not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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