So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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