Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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