lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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